


100 thoughts and you are 99

by osakaspeach



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Unrequited Love, akaashi and usuri are finally friends, kuroo oikawa and usuri friendship!!!!, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 05:44:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19987087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/osakaspeach/pseuds/osakaspeach
Summary: Usuri is a little bit in love (okay, maybe a lot) with Osamu, who had always been in love with Shirabu Kenjirou, and unrequited love would always be a part of the whole falling-in-love thing, but man does it hurt.[a.k.a. the osausu spin-off from the spice girls universe/series by beewachan]





	100 thoughts and you are 99

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Beewachan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beewachan/gifts).



> i can't believe this reached 9k words bc i was planning for it to be short and i cant believe i finished this fic in less than a day lmao i am just so dedicated and invested towards this pairing and i'm out to love them.
> 
> thank u so so much Beewachan for introducing me to them and now i'm deep in hell and thank u for allowing me to write osausu following ur timeline. i love u and this is for u /finger gun emojis/

There had always been a thin line between crushing on someone and liking someone and between liking someone and actually being in love with someone.

Usuri Michiru can’t even point out the exact moment he went from seeing Osamu as someone more than easy and attractive on the eyes, to actively liking him to being in love with him.

The fact that Osamu is in love with someone else that is NOT him should have been enough of a warning to not fall in love with the other half of the Miya twins, but no, unfortunately it didn’t.

In the past two years after they graduated high school and started university, Osamu had become a bit friendlier towards him but romantic advances were still rejected as he was in love with Shirabu and Michiru doesn’t see that changing anytime soon. Never mind that Shirabu never saw Osamu as someone he would be with romantically, but even with Semi Eita in the picture and now Futakuchi Kenji, Osamu was still inexplicably in love with him, and it’s fine, Michiru says to himself as Osamu goes on his tirade of telling how Shirabu did this and that, _it’s good and it’s cute that he’s in love with him and Shirabu Kenjirou you’re such a lucky guy goddamn it._

By any chance, he is not jealous.

Okay maybe a little bit. He likes (loves) the guy, damn it.

But Shirabu is one of his close friends and he values that friendship more than his romantic endeavors and he doesn’t want his feelings with Osamu and Osamu’s feelings with Shirabu to get in the way.

Then Futakuchi went to Europe, and decided that he and Shirabu should break it off until he comes back and Shirabu started hanging out with Osamu lots and lots again, Michiru would even bet that they even sleep together at times, and it’s okay, he tells himself as he places his focus on volleyball training, _it’s okay at least Osamu’s happy._

Because that’s what matters right?

*****

Saturday nights are always dining and drinking out with the team, and Michiru always looks forward to this post-training meals and bonding because he gets to bond with them outside the four walls of the gym and there will be more to talk about than just volleyballs and competitions.

In his second year, he is still a pinch-server at Todai because Oikawa, as he had stated two years ago, is the current starting setter of the team and he had to wait until the older setter had to retire from the club to be able to get that starting setter position. He had no qualms about it, as long as they win and he gets to play in the court, albeit a lot less frequent than he did before, then all is good.

Besides, Oikawa Tooru is an amazing setter. It would be an honor to be in the same team and him, as well as his kouhai.

He is also a wonderful friend and an above-average roommate, and Michiru sometimes find himself seeking the older setter for advice, or just to talk about mundane things and spend time together outside of volleyball practices and university classes.

“How do you deal with pain?” Usuri asked out of the blue as he, Oikawa and Kuroo walked back together to the university dorms.

Kuroo was also one of whose presence he got used to in his two years, and they became good friends, the three of them together with Oikawa hanging out every now and then. Kuroo, for all of his crazy antics and intensity in the court, is also nice to talk to and Michiru often finds himself seeking out one or the other out when he needs advice about something.

Like now.

“Unhealthily, alcohol.” Kuroo said, “Healthily, talking to someone about it so as not to burn yourself out emotionally.” The raven-haired blocker turned to look at him, “Something’s bothering you, Michiru?”

Michiru sighed, sinking into his jacket as he pursed his lips, turning the words in his head before saying them out loud, “Yeah, but it’s not much of a big deal anyway.”

Without him noticing as he stared blankly at the ground in front of him, Kuroo and Oikawa exchanged worried looks before Oikawa spoke up, telling him that if there is anything he wants to talk about, he could approach them anytime.

Michiru muttered his thanks, knowing within himself that he wouldn’t go to them about Osamu, not so soon. Because the moment he talks about how he thinks he is in love and how the pain of unrequitedness squeezes his heart, then it all becomes more real and Michiru doesn’t know how he could deal with that kind of intensity of his feelings.

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[10:07] Usuri Michiru: Do you want to hang-out today after volleyball training?

[10:08] Miya Osamu: I can’t. Kenjirou’s coming over.

[10:08] Usuri Michiru: Oh.

[10:09] Usuri Michiru: Another time, then!

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[09:17] Usuri Michiru: So like, there is this new café that opened up near Chuo and I heard that it’s good! Want to go with me after class and try it out?

[09:20] Miya Osamu: I have to be somewhere after class, taking the cat to the vet.

[09:21] Usuri Michiru: Oh, is that so?

[09:21] Miya Osamu: I’m sorry. Next time?

[09:22] Usuri Michiru: Don’t be! It’s fine! And sure, next time.

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[12:43] Usuri Michiru: And so after 10 shots, Kuroo-san was already reciting the periodic table of elements, and Oikawa-san was swatting at him every now and then, telling him to shut up before going back to whining about how much he misses Iwaizumi-san.

[12:44] Usuri Michiru: But then, Kuroo-san just told him that, ‘Tooru! I dare you to recite the periodic table of elements in perfect order! If not, you’re buying me lunch for two days!’

[12:45] Usuri Michiru: And Oikawa-san, in his drunken stupor he seems to think that he could, started reciting different biological terms.

[12:46] Usuri Michiru: As you can see, that didn’t end well and he ended up having to treat Kuroo-san out because ‘A deal is a deal, with or without the presence of alcohol.’ So here we are in the good burger joint just two blocks away from the university.

[12:47] Usuri Michiru: Their pudding is great here, by the way! I think you’ll like them!

[12:47] Usuri Michiru: You want to go after our practice match on Friday?

[13:05] Usuri Michiru: Osamu?

[13:10] Miya Osamu: I’m sorry. Kenjirou came over.

[13:11] Usuri Michiru: Oh, tell him I said hi! We never get to hang out much and I miss him.

[13:13] Miya Osamu: He says hi back. And that you can always message him in the groupchat or privately if you so wish to go out together.

[13:14] Usuri Michiru: Will do!

[13:17] Miya Osamu: Kenjirou and I are going out for lunch.

[13:17] Miya Osamu: I’ll text you later.

[13:17] Usuri Michiru: Sure! Have fun!

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[19:35] Usuri Michiru: Osamu, where are you? I thought we’re going to the burger joint I told you about.

[19:35] Usuri Michiru: Atsumu said you left immediately.

[19:40] Miya Osamu: I’m sorry. Something came up with Kenjirou.

[19:40] Miya Osamu: Raincheck?

[19:41] Usuri Michiru: Sure, tell Shirabu he can talk to me if he wants to.

[19:41] Miya Osamu: Will do.

*****

Michiru sighed in frustration, ignoring the worried glances Kuroo and Oikawa kept on throwing at him as he placed his phone back down and started to study again.

But the words seem to just float aimlessly at the pages of his book, his mind flying to other places like wondering what Osamu and Shirabu is doing, and _damn it, Michiru focus_!

“I think we need a break. We’ve been studying for hours and I think stopping for the rest of the night won’t hurt. We’re not behind on our lectures anymore.” Oikawa suggested and with a groan, Michiru folded his arms on the table and laid his head on top.

“Want to go out for dinner, Michiru? Or do you have plans? You mentioned that you and Osamu were supposed to have dinner together tonight.” Kuroo asked.

“Raincheck.” Michiru simply said before sitting up and placing his books back in his bag.

They decided to go to their favorite izakaya in Shinjuku. It’s a bit of a travel but Michiru finds that he doesn’t mind. He just wants to get out for a while.

Kuroo and Oikawa engaged in a conversation with one another without pressuring Michiru to join in and he greatly appreciates it especially the reassuring squeeze Kuroo left on his shoulder and the soft and familial smile that Oikawa gave him.

He ordered his usual and he was so out of it, so deep in his thoughts that he is in danger of drowning if he ventured deeper into the waters, that he didn’t notice Oikawa and Kuroo order a shot of alcohol until it was placed in front of him.

“It’s not Saturday, but let’s make tonight an exception.” Oikawa explained as he held his shot glass up for cheers. Michiru and Kuroo followed suit and they bumped their glasses together before tipping their head backs, allowing the liquid to burn a line through their throats. 

One shot turned into two then three until Michiru announced, in his slightly tipsy state because he is a bit of a lightweight, that they just go to that other izakaya that serves unlimited alcoholic drinks and thankfully, Kuroo and Oikawa indulged him.

So they stood up and paid for their meals, before heading over to the other izakaya which is not far from the first one they visited.

The night ended with Michiru having a lot of alcohol than he is used to having and they went him with him on Kuroo’s back in a piggyback ride while he kept muttering words that neither Oikawa nor Kuroo could comprehend clearly.

“Oikawa-san.” Michiru called when they arrived at the station near Todai.

“Yes, Michiru?” 

“Am I hard to love?” 

Kuroo and Oikawa exchanged glances before the brunet answered, “You are not. Some people may not look past your eccentric and intense personality, but you’re not hard to love Michiru.” 

“Then, why won’t he love me?” Michiru said in a whisper.

“Three years. He loved him for three years and never had he been the priority and I was there to see him suffer, and tell him maybe next time he’ll look at you the same way you do, all while ignoring how I feel because what matters is that he is happy and he is happy with him even though it hurts him sometimes, he is fine with it. I mean, I should be too right? I get to spend time with him, never mind that he never gives me a second glance, at least we’re friends that’s what matters most right?” 

“Oh fuck, of course sometimes it’s not fine because I want him to look at me too! Like really look at me, and see that I, Usuri Michiru, is here to love him and give him the love he so greatly deserves!” 

Michiru started to choke on a sob the moment they arrived at the dorms and he just buried his face on Kuroo’s shoulder as tears started to flow from his eyes.

Oikawa was silent as he opened the door and let Kuroo in. 

He placed Michiru on the bed and sat beside him, Oikawa on Michiru’s other side as he pulled the boy close towards him.

“I just want him to love me, for once, I just want him to see me. Is that so wrong?” 

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to have your feelings returned, Michiru. Most of us do because what greater feeling in the aspect of romance than having your feelings returned by the one you hold dear?” 

“But not everyone is that fortunate and I’ve heard of several cases of unrequited love both from friends and family alike. Some were lucky, some weren’t. But it doesn’t mean you’re hard to love. I love you, we love you, the team loves you and your friends do in that weird and sarcastic way that all of you seem to agree and function on. You’re a beautiful person, despite how much you like breaking other people’s spirit on the court, I mean, Kuroo is like that but we all love him nonetheless.” 

At that, Michiru let out a smile. 

“My point is, there are people who love you more than you thought of and there are those who don’t and it is one of the cruel and painful truths of the world. The fact that you put him and what he feels before yours is a testament to how nice you are as a person, but remember that sometimes, you also need to put yourself first too. Because your feelings matter just as much as the feelings of the other person.”

“We’re not telling you to move on as soon as possible.” Kuroo said, “Take as much time as you could to heal because healing is a slow process and doesn’t just happen overnight. It will hurt, every now and then, and you can cry, you can be frustrated, you can be sad, you can be angry and we will always be here to make sure you’ll be fine again.” 

“You’re never alone, Michiru and you’re never not loved.” 

*****

The days following his alcohol-induced emotional breakdown, he felt a little bit better after letting out the bulk of his emotions and crying. 

Sure, the pain still makes itself known here and there, coupled with the disappointment every time Osamu cancels on him, but this time, he is able to focus more and maybe, it’s a bit of a long time coming, but he could get over this.

*****

Before the final semester of their second year ends, Futakuchi announced that he will be back in a week, and everyone was in a flurry of arranging plans to pick up the brunet from the airport and making sure that everyone’s schedule is free on the day of his arrival.

Which came sooner and they were all lost in the excitement of being reunited and completed once again, some more so than the others.

(He noticed the way Shirabu gripped Futakuchi tightly the moment he was able to wrap his arms around him again, and he knew for sure that not even the distance nor the breaking off was enough to put a stop to those feelings.)

They all went to get breakfast after the airport reunion and did a bit of catching up over cups of coffee and pastries. Futakuchi told stories of his European adventures and everyone filled him in on what he missed in the last two years.

At the end of the morning, he went with Shirabu as he would be staying over there for the meantime before he goes back to Miyagi, and everyone knows that they will be talking about their relationship, but no one commented on that fact.

That night, while Michiru was finishing up his course work from one of his subjects, his phone lit up with continuous notifications from the group chat announcing that Futakuchi and Shirabu are officially back together, and one private message from Atsumu.

** Private Message: Miya Atsumu and Usuri Michiru **

[21:19] Miya Atsumu: hey

[21:19] Usuri Michiru: I know.

[21:20] Usuri Michiru: And I’m supposed to say that no, I’m not coming over.

[21:20] Miya Atsumu: but

[21:20] Usuri Michiru: But I love him and I don’t want to see him get broken and torn up more than you do.

[21:21] Miya Atsumu: i know im sorry

[21:21] Usuri Michiru: There’s no need for you to apologize.

[21:21] Miya Atsumu: i guess i’ll see you tomorrow?

[21:21] Usuri Michiru: Yeah.

** Private Message: Akaashi Keiji and Usuri Michiru **

[21:32] Akaashi Keiji: I know we don’t talk much about feelings and all that complicated shit, but you don’t have to be pressured to do this if you don’t want to. Your feelings are very valid, and I would very much understand if you choose to put yourself first and not go.

[21:32] Akaashi Keiji: It is never your duty to fix someone who is broken.

[21:33] Usuri Michiru: I know, thank you Akaashi.

[21:33] Akaashi Keiji: You’re welcome. 

*****

The next day he found himself standing in the lobby of the apartment where the Miya twins are staying. 

As he surrendered his ID to the receptionist, the elevators opened and Atsumu walked out, looking at him with a tentative smile.

“Hey.” Atsumu greeted him and Michiru mustered out a small smile as he returned the greeting, “Hey.” 

They didn’t talk much on the way up, until they reached the door to the twins’ unit. 

“He hasn’t been out since last night.” Atsumu informed him as he opened the door and Michiru just nodded before they enter.

“I’ll be out with Keiji for the day. Just call me if you need me or anything.” 

As the door closed, Michiru took a deep breath and walked deeper into the apartment and paused in front of Osamu’s wooden door, knocking lightly before slowly opening the door to find the object of his affection hunched over a canvas, hands holding a paintbrush that glides over the surface in neat, definitive strokes.

“Will you ever stop painting him?” Michiru asked quietly and he noticed the movement of Osamu’s hand stop. 

And then his shoulders began to shake. 

Michiru sighed and entered the room, closing the door behind him as he approached Osamu’s hunched figure, taking the canvas and paintbrush off his hand and placing them on the floor beside him as he reached up to wipe the tears that continuously flowed from Osamu’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” Michiru says and he doesn’t know what he is apologizing for. 

Osamu stumbled off the chair he was sitting on and fell into Michiru’s readily opened arms, always making sure that he is there to catch him when he falls, soothe his wounds when they hurt and wipe his tears when they pour. 

Because despite everything, Michiru loves him and never wants to see him hurt, never wants to see him get himself torn up over someone who never spared a second to consider his feelings, never wants to see him this broken, those beautiful dark orbs glistening with painful tears.

Michiru loves him so much that he would be there always to hold him together when everything else is falling apart. 

*****

After Osamu calmed down and drank enough water to rehydrate himself after letting out buckets of tears, they sat in silence inside Osamu’s room, with Osamu leaning against his bed and Michiru leaning against the wall adjacent to where Osamu is, their toes slightly touching. 

“How can you love me?” Osamu asked him, breaking the silence.

Michiru just looked at him, not providing an answer until Osamu repeated his question and turning his head to look at Michiru.

“How can you love me, Usuri?” 

Michiru smiled painfully, “The same way you love Kenjirou.” 

Osamu smiled bitterly, because he understands, that despite the other not sparing him a second glance in the presence of the one they hold dear, that despite the other not returning even a fraction of the same feelings, that despite the pain of being stuck in the unfortunate situation of harboring unrequited feelings, he can’t help but still be in love with Shirabu.

“I’m sorry.” Osamu said, because he knows how much he has hurt Michiru in favor of putting his attention to Shirabu, who never turned to look at him again once Futakuchi came back.

“It’s not your fault you’re in love with him.” Michiru replied. “I just hope you feel better, not now. I’m not rushing you, take all the time you need. And just, heal. And let me be there for you.” 

Osamu looked at him, “I’m not asking you to return my feelings, Osamu. Just let me love you and be there for you. That’s all I want.” 

*****

Sometimes, Michiru can’t even gauge the magnitude of his own feelings for Osamu.

All he knows is that it is enough for him to feel overwhelmed at its intensity, in a good way. 

After that day in Osamu’s room and the comfortable shared silence that led into dinner while watching movies together on the couch and eventually with Osamu falling asleep on Michiru’s shoulder, they seemed to have settled into the new dynamic of their friendship.

Although Osamu already knew that Michiru harbored feelings for him and loves him more than just a friend, Michiru never explicitly and directly told him he loves him, and after getting over the embarrassment at his bold statement that afternoon, Osamu and he went back to their banter-based friendship and the occasional conversations and hanging-out, although occasional doesn’t seem as occasional as it did before, and the usual one-sided conversations are not so one-sided anymore. 

Not when Osamu also started initiating conversations with him as well, from random to the most mundane things that he could think of.

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[19:56] Miya Osamu: Are you busy?

[19:58] Usuri Michiru: Just finishing up my lab report. Why?

[19:58] Miya Osamu: We never really get to go to that burger joint you mentioned.

[19:58] Miya Osamu: The one with the good pudding.

[19:58] Miya Osamu: I was wondering if you want to go now. For dinner.

[19:59] Usuri Michiru: Sure! 

[19:59] Miya Osamu: Okay, I’ll see you in a bit.

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

_Miya Osamu sent a picture_

[14:15] Usuri Michiru: Adorable! Where is that?

[14:15] Miya Osamu: At the animaI shelter I volunteer at with Kentarou.

[14:15] Miya Osamu: Her name is Eri-chan.

[14:16] Usuri Michiru: I’m in love with her already. Can I keep her?

[14:16] Miya Osamu: As long as you have the necessary documents for adoption then, sure.

[14:17] Usuri Michiru: As much as I want to, dorms don’t allow pets :(

[14:17] Miya Osamu: That’s unfortunate.

[14:17] Miya Osamu: Come with me on Sunday so you can play with her.

[14:18] Usuri Michiru: I thought you don’t work on Sundays?

[14:18] Miya Osamu: I don’t, but I have nothing better to do so I want to bring you over and meet her, if you want to.

[14:18] Usuri Michiru: Of course, I’d love to!

[14:19] Miya Osamu: Okay, I’ll come get you and we can have coffee afterwards. 

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[22:27] Miya Osamu: I’m upset.

[22:27] Usuri Michiru: Did Atsumu eat your pudding again?

[22:28] Miya Osamu: Yes he did. 

[22:28] Miya Osamu: I’m locking the refrigerator the next time he does it, I swear.

[22:28] Usuri Michiru: Sounds fun, I’ll come over and help you secure your goods.

*****

Getting to talk with Osamu daily and getting to hang-out with him every now and then was, undeniably for Michiru, one of the best things that he look forward to everyday, aside from volleyball and Saturday nights with the team because he always looks forward to those.

A little part of him, the insecure part that tells him he could never be enough for Osamu, feels like maybe Osamu just sees him as a replacement for Shirabu.

Another part of him, the confident and reassuring one, tells him that Osamu genuinely appreciates and enjoys his presence and their time together. 

“I’m so confused, I don’t know how to process these new developments.” Michiru said as he sighed, slumping against his seat.

“I think what’s going on between the two of you is nice.” Akaashi commented from where he was seated across him as they waited for Atsumu to arrive with their cups of coffee and pastries.

“It IS nice, but I’m so used to him not minding me or flat out ignoring me that I sometimes don’t know what to do! And my heart is doing that squishy thing whenever we’re together and he tells me he appreciates me being there for him! Akaashi-sama, help!” 

“I understand your point, I’d be a bit shocked too if it were me.” 

“I don’t know why I’m making a big deal out of this. I guess I’m just scared he’ll see me as a replacement for someone else. That would suck.” Michiru laughed bitterly.

“It would, but I don’t think Osamu is the type to take advantage of your feelings. He had always been genuine towards his own emotions and I don’t think it will change anytime soon.” 

“Yeah,” Atsumu interrupted placing the tray of their orders on the table as he took the seat beside Akaashi, “Osamu never tried to really hide nor fake his feelings, and I think he looks a lot better these past few days. Thank you, Michiru. I mean it.” 

“You don’t have to thank me for being a good friend.” 

“I know you’re hurting just as he is, but you never failed to be there for him, that in itself is enough for me to respect how strong you are.”

Michiru huffed, but a small smile is playing on his lips as he took a bite from his croissant. 

*****

** Chat: spice girls (spice daddy, futanari, Mommy, Daddy, everything nice, halfpint, mr. director, NaCl, Yahaba, 2.5braincells, #1) **

[10:08] spice daddy: guuuuyyyyssss

[10:08] spice daddy: let’s hang out today before we all go back to our respective prefectures for the break

[10:09] Yahaba: I’ll be back in like two weeks for volleyball but okay

[10:09] spice daddy: yayyyyy

[10:09] spice daddy: how about the others?

[10:10] futanari: kenjirou n i are game

[10:10] Mommy: Atsumu and I will be coming as well.

[10:10] halfpint: me too!!!!

[10:10] everything nice: same

[10:11] mr. director: i’m going to pack my stuff, but i’ll be there

[10:11] spice daddy: @#1 sakusaaaaa

[10:11] halfpint: @#1 sakusa sakusa

[10:12] #1: What?

[10:12] spice daddy: let’s hang out!!!

[10:12] #1: No.

[10:13] spice daddy: aw, won’t you miss us?

[10:13] #1: No, I won’t.

[10:13] Daddy: that’s a lie

[10:14] #1: Shut up, Atsumu.

[10:14] Daddy: come with us, sakusa

[10:14] Daddy: i’m telling komori to make you come with us.

[10:16] #1: Okay, fine.

[10:16] halfpint: YESSS HE’S COMING

[10:17] everything nice: @2.5braincells how about u usuri

[10:17] 2.5braincells: Hi! I’m sorry, I can’t come. I have plans with Osamu for the whole day :(

[10:18] 2.5braincells: I’ll just be here in Tokyo until volleyball training starts again, so if anyone of you wants to hang-out and twerk in Ginza or whatever, just call me

[10:18] everything nice: im taking u up on that offer

[10:18] spice daddy: aw, it’s okay. have fun w osamu!!

[10:19] 2.5braincells: Will do!! 

[10:19] Daddy: tell him to bring me back some sweets

[10:20] 2.5braincells: You just stole his pudding, if anything you should be buying him food to compensate for what you stole.

[10:20] Mommy: Stop stealing Osamu’s food, Atsumu.

[10:20] Daddy: but keijiiiiii :(((

[10:21] Mommy: I’ll buy you pudding.

[10:21] Daddy: :)))))))))) i love u

[10:21] Mommy: I love you, too.

*****

Michiru was buzzing with excitement as he and Osamu walked from the train station to the animal shelter. He kept telling himself that it was just because he missed being around animals as he too had volunteered before when he was still in high school, but deep inside he knows it’s just the feeling he always gets whenever he spends time with Osamu.

“I’m so excited to meet Eri-chan!” Michiru exclaimed, “and the other cats! I guess the dogs, too. Dogs are adorable. But I like cats more.” 

“Kenjirou--” Osamu said hesitantly.

“Hmm? What about Kenjirou?” Michiru asked. It’s been awhile since Shirabu’s name came up in their conversations and he could understand the hesitation in Osamu’s voice.

“Kenjirou likes cats as well.” 

“Oh. Well, I can’t blame him. Cats are super adorable creatures that makes you soft and squeeze at your heart.” 

Michiru chanced a look at Osamu who was just staring at the ground as they walked, “Is that why you sent me a picture of the cat?” 

“What?” Osamu looked at him.

“You send Kenjirou videos and pictures of cats, as he mentioned before in our group chat, and I’m going to assume you haven’t been talking again after what happened and instead of sending Eri-chan’s picture to him, you sent it to me.”

“What? No!” Osamu said, “Atsumu mentioned you like cats, and that you volunteered once for an animal shelter before college began. So, I figured you might like Eri-chan and that maybe you’d like to come with me today.” 

“Oh. Well yeah, I do. I missed volunteering. I had to drop it when I came here for university, unfortunately. Hey, do you think I could apply as a volunteer for that animal shelter as well?” 

“Well, we’d always be glad to have more.” 

*****

“She’s so cute!” Michiru cooed the moment he and Osamu were inside the room filled with cats and the gray-haired man brought over a white Persian cat with sky blue eyes. “Can I hold her?” 

Osamu nodded and carefully handed Eri-chan over to Michiru’s awaiting arms and Michiru felt his own heart squeeze when the cat looked up at him with her blue eyes, meowing softly before licking her paws.

“Osamu, I’m soft and I want to take her home with me.” 

Osamu just chuckled, “You could, if only the dorm allows pets.”

“Guess I’ll just sneak her in then.” 

*****

Michiru spent almost the whole day with Osamu and it was amazing, getting to see him being trampled over by the cats was one image he resolved to burn in his mind. 

(Maybe, just maybe he took a picture because it is the softest he had seen Osamu, lying down on the rubber mat as he played with the small and adorable creatures, cooing at them and patting their heads softly before stroking their fur.)

After spending a good few hours in the animal shelter playing with the cats and then walking the dogs, Michiru filled up an application form to be a volunteer in the shelter while Osamu talked to Kentarou and then they were off, bidding their goodbyes to the blond-haired man (who Michiru remembered to be Yahaba’s boyfriend) and Michiru got the chance to even kiss Eri-chan goodbye because Kentarou, bless his kind-hearted soul, brought the cat out just so Michiru could say goodbye.

They decided to go to Shinjuku for dinner at the college district and go straight to Harajuku to have dessert.

It’s a lot of walking and riding the always-crowded Tokyo trains but Michiru doesn’t mind, not really when he gets to spend his time with Osamu, walking beside him as they made their way along the busy streets of Tokyo, sitting beside him as they engage in small conversations about anything that came to mind. 

After they consumed their desserts, Michiru asked Osamu if he wanted to go to Shibuya and when Osamu asked what he wanted to do there, Michiru just shrugged, saying no matter how much he went there and crossed the Shibuya streets multiple times, he still enjoyed doing it, so they went, and Michiru was grinning in delight as he pulled Osamu along with him, crossing the streets from the different pedestrian lanes until they decided to stop and drink coffee in Starbucks.

“There’s a place here when you can see the whole Shibuya crossing from above.” Michiru informed Osamu as slowly drank through their coffee, “Do you want to check it out?” 

“Sure.” 

So, they went, and the night spring breeze was enough to make a shiver run through Michiru’s body once they were up on the rooftop but he continued to pull Osamu with him, paying for their tickets, allowing them an hour to stay on the viewing deck.

Somehow, Michiru was also able to get Osamu to agree that they take pictures (because they could and there’s a camera above that could get you and the whole Shibuya crossing in a photo) and they did, Michiru humming gleefully at the 5 shots that they were able to take.

“They’re like ants.” Osamu said as he looked down meters below them, observing hundreds of people making their way to and from the station to other parts of Shibuya. 

Michiru approached the railing and stood beside Osamu, their shoulders touching as he too gazed at the sea of people below, fascinated by the sight. 

“Michiru.” 

He looked at him, and even with the lack of good lighting where they are, Michiru couldn’t deny how good Osamu looks, and how his heart lurched at the softness he found in those dark orbs gazing at him.

“Thank you.” 

And _oh god,_ Michiru wants to pull him and hold him close and kiss him, and that might just be what will happen because Osamu’s face is moving closer and _oh my god, I can feel his breathe caress my skin_ , and Michiru knows it might not be a good thing to happen but he’s just so weak and when Osamu’s lips touch his in a gentle press, he’s done for.

But despite the joy exploding in his heart like the fireworks during the summer festival, and the butterflies in his stomach, Michiru pulled back immediately because no, it’s not supposed to be this way.

“I..” he said, gaze pointedly on his shoes as he refused to look at Osamu, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Oh.” He thought he could hear the disappointment in Osamu’s voice but maybe it was him and he was just projecting his own feelings. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Maybe if it was another time, I wouldn’t mind. But..” he took a deep breath to calm his raging heart, “You’re still in love with him. I don’t want to be just his replacement, Osamu.” 

“You’re not.” Osamu whispered.

“I know.” Michiru tried to make himself believe, but even with the reassurance coming from Osamu himself, he can’t find it within him to grasp that truth and hold it close to his heart because it was three years. He can’t win against three years worth of longing and deep, undeniable feelings.

“I’m not rushing you into anything and I’m not forcing you to love me back.” Michiru told him, echoing what he once said during that afternoon in Osamu’s room. He looked at Osamu, bringing a hand up and placing it on his cheek, and smiled, “Just let me stay beside you and love you. That’s all I want.” 

Osamu held the hand on his cheek and nodded wordlessly, and they stayed like that for a while before Michiru let his hand fall back to his side as he turned to look back at the view from below: the sea of people and Shibuya’s bright lights before them; and where their shoulders were touching a while ago now lies a space that even Michiru himself can’t find the will to close.

*****

The walk back was silent, the space noticeable.

Michiru was deep in his thoughts, not noticing the worried glances that Osamu had been throwing him every now and then. 

“I’ll text you tomorrow?” Osamu asked tentatively as he and Michiru stood together on the platform, waiting for their respective trains to take them back to their respective dorms. 

“Sure.”

Michiru’s train arrived first and he boarded, not looking back as it disappeared into the night.

When he arrived at his room, he went straight to his bed and plopped down on it, not bothering to remove his coat nor his shoes and he curled up and hugged his favorite pillow close to him. 

“Michiru?” Oikawa called from his spot on the floor where he was packing his clothes as he would be returning to Miyagi for a week before coming back just in time for volleyball training to start again and the month-long planned training camp outside of Tokyo.

“I’m fine, Oikawa-san.” He whispered, and Oikawa knows it’s a lie, but he is still thankful that the older setter decided not to pry and force it out of him.

“If you need to talk, I’m here.”

He felt his phone vibrate and he sighed before taking it out, ignoring the one message he received from Osamu in favor of sending two messages to two different people.

**_To: Akaashi Keiji_ **

_He kissed me._

**_To: Shirabu Kenjirou_ **

_We need to talk._

*****

_“Did you ever love him?”_

_There was a wistful and fond look in his eyes, and Michiru thought that maybe he is also a little bit in love with him and it was mutual and maybe it was the sign that he should step back and bury his own feelings, but a closer look at those caramel brown orbs and he thinks that maybe that isn’t the case._

_“Maybe I did, but more in a way that he was just a friend than a lover.”_

_“You led him on for three years.”_

_“I know.”_

_“You hurt him.”_

_“I know.”_

_“He used to paint you and those canvases still lie in his room and he was just so in love with you.”_

_“I know.”_

_“I want to be mad, but I can’t.”_

_Softly, like a whisper, “I know, and you have the right to be mad at me.”_

_“I don’t.” And then, “Talk to him. It’s the best you could ever do to let him move on.”_

_“I know. Thank you, Michiru.”_

*****

_“What are you going to do now?”_

_Michiru just stared at his cup, watching the steam rise from the black liquid. It’s been three days since Osamu kissed him and his feelings and thoughts are doing a damn great job of keeping him awake at night._

_“I don’t know.”_

_“He kissed you, Michiru.”_

_“Just because he kissed me doesn’t mean he’s magically moved on from Shirabu, Atsumu.”_

_Atsumu sighs, “I know, I’m sorry.”_

_“Don’t be.”_

_Akaashi got up from his seat and sat beside him, taking his hands off the cup and holding them, and Michiru took a deep breath, pressed their clasped hands on his forehead as he closed his eyes, biting his lip to stop the whimper from coming out as he felt wet tears streaming down his face._

_Akaashi and Atsumu remained silent and Michiru wordlessly thanks them for the quiet support._

*****

** Private Message: MIya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[18:07] Usuri Michiru: Hey, I’m sorry for not keeping in touch the last four days.

[18:07] Usuri Michiru: I had to settle some stuff before training starts again so Coach had me running around. 

[18:07] Miya Osamu: It’s okay.

[18:07] Miya Osamu: I was worried I scared you off.

[18:08] Usuri Michiru: You didn’t! 

[18:08] Usuri Michiru: I’ve been pestering you for like three years. It would take a lot more to keep me off your back.

[18:08] Miya Osamu: I guess.

[18:09] Miya Osamu: You want to grab dinner?

[18:09] Usuri Michiru: Sure. 

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[21:45] Usuri Michiru: Training starts again tomorrow. I’m ready to die.

[21:45] Miya Osamu: Will you leave immediately for that out-of-town training camp you mentioned?

[21:45] Usuri Michiru: Nope. Coach said that we will train here for a week before we leave.

[21:46] Miya Osamu. Good luck.

[21:46] Usuri Michiru: Thanks!

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[03:15] Usuri Michiru: We’re leaving now.

[03:16] Usuri Michiru: It’s still kinda early so you might still be asleep.

[03:16] Usuri Michiru: I think I might also sleep in the bus as well. Everyone looks dead on their feet.

[03:17] Usuri Michiru: I’ll see you in a month I guess?

[09:18] Miya Osamu: Yeah, see you. 

[09:18] Miya Osamu: Take care.

[09:19] Miya Osamu: Text me when you get there.

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[16:55] Usuri Michiru: We’re here!

_Usuri Michiru: sent a photo_

[16:55] Usuri Michiru: The place looks fantastic!

[16:56] Miya Osamu: Glad to see you’ve arrived safely.

[16:56] Usuri Michiru: Duty calls.

[16:56] Usuri Michiru: Later!

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[17:34] Miya Osamu: Atsumu stole my pudding again, so I really locked the refrigerator this time and now he is whining at my feet, begging me to unlock it.

_Miya Osamu sent a photo._

[17:34] Miya Osamu: Akaashi is just sitting on the couch watching in amusement.

[17:35] Miya Osamu: Kinda wished you were here to share the triumphant feeling of winning against Atsumu and his incessant stealing of my food.

[17:36] Miya Osamu: How’s training by the way?

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[14:19] Miya Osamu: It’s been a week.

[14:19] Miya Osamu: I hope you’ve been resting well despite the hard training.

[14:20] Miya Osamu: We started last Monday already. 

[14:20] Miya Osamu: Coach said we’re going to have a practice match with Sakusa’s school next week and Atsumu said he’s ready to crush him.

[14:21] Miya Osamu: I guess you’re busy.

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[20:08] Miya Osamu: Kenjirou and I talked this afternoon after volley practice.

[20:08] Miya Osamu: He said he was sorry.

[20:09] Miya Osamu: I told him it wasn’t his fault I’m in love with him.

[20:09] Miya Osamu: Am? Was? I don’t know.

[20:09] MIya Osamu: Just that, I only felt relief when he apologized, but I didn’t feel any more hopeful that we’d be something romantic after that.

[20:10] Miya Osamu: I felt light because maybe this was the closure I finally needed to let him and my feelings go.

[20:10] Miya Osamu: Feels… good, I guess.

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[17:56] Miya Osamu: Michiru

[17:56] Miya Osamu: Michiru

[17:56] Miya Osamu: MIchiru

[17:56] Miya Osamu: I was thinking

[17:57] Miya Osamu: Can I paint you?

[17:58] Miya Osamu: It’s just that, I was watching the sunset from my bedroom window, and imagined how the colors kiss your skin.

[17:58] Miya Osamu: And now I have this pleasant feeling urging me to paint.

[17:59] Miya Osamu: I want to paint you.

[17:59] Miya Osamu: Is that too forward?

*****

** Private Message: Miya Osamu and Usuri Michiru **

[00:18] Miya Osamu: Michiru

[00:19] Miya Osamu: I miss you.

*****

With a sigh, Osamu placed his phone back down on the coffee table, brought the soft, fleece blanket up to his chin as he continued to watch the Ghibli movie playing on the screen.

“He still hasn’t replied?” Atsumu asked from where he was perched on the floor, munching on the pudding he once again stole from Osamu but he didn’t have the energy to fight his brother on this for once.

“No.” Osamu replied. Atsumu just looked at him from the corner of his eyes. 

“Maybe something came up.” 

Osamu just hummed, but it’s been almost four weeks and he still hasn’t replied to any of the messages he sent.

He tried not to think too much about it.

*****

One night, Osamu was hit with the sudden realization that no one could love him like Michiru does.

No one would be like Michiru, who signed that non-disclosure agreement in favor of Osamu sleeping with him for that one time. (He didn’t even kiss him so as not to make anything too personal and intimate.)

No one would be like Michiru, who despite all the dry enthusiasm that Osamu projects into their past conversations, continues to talk to him and tell him random and funny stories of how his day went and all the troubles that he and his group of friends went through.

No one would be like Michiru, watching him paint gardens of Shirabu Kenjirou all while he stayed a respectable distance, nursing his broken heart that cries out of pain but still continued to love Osamu despite it all.

No one would be like Michiru, who never left even if Osamu never once spared a look in his direction because he was too caught up in Shirabu Kenjirou and the taste of his lips, the slide of his skin and the softness of his caramel-brown hair.

No one would be like Michiru, who saw him bleed again and again, and always, he would be there, with boxes of tissue to wipe away his tears, with a plastic bag of his favorite pudding and take-out as they watch movies and bask in the comfortable silence.

No one would be like Michiru, who never left no matter how many times Osamu runs back to him only to leave again because Shirabu is there.

No one would be like Michiru, who never fails to see Osamu as someone he could love despite it all. No one would be like Michiru, who never asked for more, who never asked for him to reciprocate those feelings, who just wanted to stay beside him and love him.

No one would be like Michiru, who decided to wait, as if three long years of his pining and unrequited love is nothing. 

Osamu has his brother, his ever-loving brother who despite their bickering and rough-housing still worries for him and his emotional state, Osamu has Suna and his other friends who always check up on him to make sure he is okay. Osamu has them all, but he thinks none of them could ever be like Usuri Michiru when it comes to loving him.

And it’s foolish to think that three years worth of feelings would just come away with an apology and a snap of fingers, so he doesn’t. Maybe it will take a bit more for him to fully get over Shirabu Kenjirou and maybe that’s fine. Better slow and sure than fast and hasty. 

Hopefully by that time, it wouldn’t be too late for him to tell Michiru that he worked his way into his heart and that hopefully, Michiru would want to stay in there too, for a long time.

*****

It was 9 in the morning and Osamu was rudely awoken by the heavy footsteps and the banging of the door as the door knob hit the wall when it suddenly opened..

“Atsumu, for the love of— ” 

“They’re coming back.” 

“What?”

“Michiru and their team, they’re on their way back.”

It was enough for Osamu to shoot out of the bed and grab his towel as he made his way to the bathroom.

“Are you going to eat breakfast?” Atsumu shouted from the kitchen.

“No! I’ll just grab something to eat on the way!” 

“Alright!” 

It wasn’t even thirty minutes and he was already out of the apartment, making his way hastily to the station to catch the train that would take him to Todai.

When he arrived at Todai, the bus wasn’t there yet and Osamu settled on one of the benches, wringing his hands because goddamn, why is he so nervous, and texting Atsumu to make sure that the volleyball team really is arriving that morning and after a good four texts of Atsumu reassuring Osamu that _yes, they will be there any minute now, keiji told me_ , the bus carrying the Todai volleyball team entered the university gates and Osamu pocketed his phone shooting Atsumu a “ _never mind, they’re here. Ttyl,_ ” and got up from his seat and made his way near the gym where the bus stopped.

Everyone was unloading the bus and taking their respective bags from the baggage bin, and Osamu slowly walked closer, finding the familiar head of light brown that belongs to Michiru, which he saw as said man stood straight, duffel bag in hand as he started to walk back to the dorms.

“Michiru!”

*****

Michiru was tired to say the least, a sentiment that he thinks everyone in the bus is silently echoing in their own minds.

It’s been a rough one month, and they had to extend for three days before they went back because Michiru asked if he could go to his house and suddenly it was a team vacation because everyone offered to come with him even though it was farther than where they stayed at for the training camp. His parents didn’t mind one bit and offered for the whole team to stay for two nights because their house is big enough to accommodate everyone and his mother just loves to have as much visitors as they could and is very glad that Michiru has been making lots of friends.

He missed Osamu, and as he saw the gates of Todai looming in the distance, he was just glad to be back in Tokyo.

He wasn’t able to contact him because by some misfortune, he dropped his phone in the toilet before the training starts, and when he was just about to ask if Oikawa and Kuroo could lend him his phone so that he could shoot Osamu a text informing him of his problem, Coach said that there would be no phones in the entirety of the training camp.

So as soon as the training camp ended and their phones were back, Oikawa and Kuroo were on their phones texting their respective boyfriends and Michiru asked the Coach if he could call his mother, as he was feeling shy to ask Oikawa and Kuroo seeing as they both missed Iwaizumi and Kenma so much. 

So, his mother, bless her very kind and wonderful soul, gave him enough money to buy a new phone, which he decided he would do once he placed his bag down in his shared room with Oikawa so that he could finally, finally text Osamu again. 

He was lucky enough that his sim card wasn’t at all damaged so he could still use it.

Once the bus entered Todai and stopped near the gym, Oikawa and Kuroo shot out of their seats, took their bags and ran off to drop their stuff in their respective dorm rooms and leave to see their boyfriends. Michiru followed at a relaxed and unhurried paced, yawning into his hand as he stretched his arms above his head. 

He made his way along with the rest of his teammates to get their bags and he hauled it up on his shoulder as he walked back to the dorms, stopping in his tracks when he heard a familiar voice call for him.

“Michiru!” 

The sight of Miya Osamu with his slightly disheveled gray hair walking briskly towards him was enough for a smile to paint its way to Michiru’s lips, and before he could so much as utter a word, Osamu’s arms were around him, hugging him tightly as he held Michiru against him and buried his face in Michiru’s shoulder.

“Osamu?” Michiru asked in confusion as he slowly place his arms around Osamu’s waist.

“You were gone for too long.” Osamu softly said, the confusion in Michiru’s face slowly making way to an elated smile at the thought that Osamu missed him.

“It was just a month.”

“A month too long. You weren’t even replying to my texts, I thought..”

“Hmm?”

“I thought you didn’t.. want me anymore.”

Michiru smiled, “I don’t think I could never not want you. I’m sorry, my phone fell in the toilet as soon as we arrived and coach said no phones, so I wasn’t able to contact you.” 

Osamu sighed in relief, his shoulders sagging slightly in a relaxed stance, the threat of Michiru leaving him already out of the options why the other refused to reply to his messages.

He squeezed him slightly one more time before he stepped back, but not too far because he kinda liked being near Michiru and Michiru seems to like it too.

“Have you had breakfast?” Michiru asked him as he started to walk back to the dorms, gesturing for Osamu to follow and they walked beside each other, arms brushing and footsteps matching.

“Not yet.” 

“Want to come with me? I need to buy a new phone. Thankfully my sim card got out of it unscathed so I could still use it.” 

“Sure.” 

“Okay, cool.” 

As they rounded the corner of the gym and saw the dormitory buildings in the distance, Michiru felt Osamu shyly and tentatively reaching for hand and with confidence and reassurance, he allowed their fingers to intertwine, punctuating it with a soft squeeze as he looked at Osamu and smiled.

Osamu sighed and relief once more and returned the smile as they continued to walk back to the dorms. 

_(And maybe later, when they were lounging on the couch in Osamu’s apartment, sharing a blanket and not paying attention to the movie playing in the television as Michiru read through the copious amount of texts Osamu sent him while he was away making Osamu blush as he read them aloud, Michiru thinks that he could get used to this: the feeling of Osamu’s body pressed close against his, their hands intertwined together as they walked around the crowded and busy streets of Tokyo, the flustered blush that makes it way to Osamu’s face because of him, HIM!, and the elation when Osamu turned to look at him in that soft and fond way of his and Michiru allows himself to think that maybe there is even a hint of love in those dark orbs and when Osamu squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek and told him, “I missed you, welcome back,” Michiru thinks that his unrequited feelings aren’t so unrequited at all.)_

*****

**_Earlier that day_ **

“Sssh! Keep it down or they’re going to see us!” Ennoshita said as he hushed his nine other friends who were standing beside and behind him as they hid behind one of the buses parked near the gym. Even Sakusa was doing a poor job of masking his curiosity as he looked around Futakuchi’s tall frame to have a glance at Michiru and Osamu.

Atsumu and Akaashi called everyone to let them know that Michiru would be coming back and well, everyone missed him, so they were excited, but Atsumu let them know that Osamu was waiting for Michiru to come back and so everyone agreed to let the two have the day to themselves.

It doesn’t mean they would pass the opportunity to spy on the possibly budding romance between the two, which led to their current state of discreetly hiding and watching their friends.

Akaashi stood behind with Atsumu watching things unfold and he smiled when he saw Michiru return Osamu’s hug.

“All’s well that ends well, huh?” Atsumu said, and Akaashi nodded at his boyfriend. They’re both happy that Michiru and Osamu finally found something in one another and Akaashi, for all that he saw Michiru suffer and cry during the past weeks, could only hope for the best to come for the new couple.

“Come on, let them have this moment. They’ve got a lot to talk to.” Akaashi told his friends and was met with whines because they still wanted to watch, but they followed Akaashi and Atsumu nonetheless as they started to walk back towards the gates of Todai.

“Kenjirou?” Futakuchi called for his boyfriend who remained standing where he was, looking at Michiru and Osamu who were now walking away closely side by side. “Are you okay?”

Shirabu turned to look at his boyfriend and smiled before taking his hand in his, “Yeah, I’m just really happy for them.”

“Me, too.”

And Shirabu was.

For all the pain Osamu’s love for him brought, he was glad that the darker haired man found and gave Michiru a chance, because he knew ever since that he could never love Osamu the way Osamu loved him. And because he knew that Michiru could love Osamu in a way nobody else could.

Osamu is his friend, so is Michiru and Shirabu is just very glad, maybe more so than everyone else in their group, that the two of them found each other. 


End file.
